Thinking About Life
Some days just staying alive is a miracle. Almost getting hit by a car is very close to death experience. Seeing someone a few days prior to their death can feel like being in the proximity the occurrence. Hearing that someone knew someone that took their own life can be near death. Having someone die in you home can be too close to death. I think this is an experience that can be interpreted in lots of different ways but the key is that you are still alive.
Last night I went out to buy some snacks from the drugstore across the street. I crossed half the street to the median. I looked and it seemed the cars were far enough away to continue across. As I stepped out I could hear the roaring of the engine getting closer to me so I picked up my pace. As I stepped onto the curb the truck sped passed me and turned into the parking lot of the drugstore. The truck slowed down enough not to leave tire marks or smoke. Right behind the truck was a police car. The police left tire marks. I went into the store fully of fear, excitement, and nervousness. I walked in talking about the experience with the employees. I passed the aisle I was to turn down then turned around and started to pass it again. One of the employees tried to calm me by saying, "Take your turn, there is no hurry". I did take a deep breath but was still shaken. I finally grabbed the bag of candy and headed to the register. I had brought the wrong amount, I was short five cents. The same employee paid for it.
I went back to my building. As I crossed the street, I made real sure that I had extra time. I went to my apartment and grabbed some pennies. I decided that if I had time that I would give it back to her. I started down the elevator when a neighbor got on and headed out with me. She forgot her keys and wanted me to let her back in when she was done with the liquor store. I dropped off the pennies then came to the corner where the 'LQ' was. As I got there one guy was asking if the other needed anything and was he looking for something. I know the lingo, and it was a drug reference. Then he turns towards me and asked if I needed something and I said I was good. I was referring to the last 30 minutes as well. As the girl and I headed back to the apartment complex, there was a cop parked outside with his engine running. Seeing the car made me anxious and I wanted to get in my place as soon as possible.
My experienced last night reminded me that it only takes a second to loose sight of that life is precious. We need to live every day in that moment because we never know what could be around the corner. We need to value life and the experiences it brings. People around us may not stay so we should enjoy their company as much as we can. Knowing this, I feel thankful that I am alive right now and I want to enjoy the time I have left being happy, spending it with friends, and trying to preserve what time is left.
An associate of mine that was a young, attractive, healthy looking person had a friend of his die but for this example, we will call him Reynaldo. Reynaldo relocated to a metropolis with all the amenities that come with a busy city like this. There is high concentrated traffic around the central/downtown area. There are lots crime, homelessness, drugs, disease, and gentrification. Reynaldo had a disease that his friend had also. He took steps to try to control his disease to the best of his ability. Reynaldo tried to keep his friend doing the same. His friend found a girlfriend who was deeper in her disease and wasn't ready to acknowledge it. His friend moved in with the girl and within a few weeks of being with this girl the friend died in the downtown area alone.
Unfortunately, some diseases can start with unhealthy habits. Once the disease is discernable, it is time to start taking care of yourself to stop progression. Reynaldo's disease required him to get group support, a mentor to walk him through the emotions and reactions from this disease. There is no cure for it, so he has to work diligently to stay healthy.
I had a friend that always seemed sad and upset. For this story, I will call him Brad. He was always complaining about things and turning everything into a bad situation. We made up a nickname like " Sad Brad". He had a dad that would drink alcohol a lot and would hit on women. I don't know if he made my friend feel bad about himself but my friend wasn't happy. One day we (a group of friends) saw Brad's father, and he said that Brad had blown his brains out. I was devastated for years. I felt bad about making up the nickname. How do you live with yourself knowing that you might have been a part of the reason he felt he couldn't go on anymore. This death could way heavy on anyone.
A person dying in your home can cause you to be thrown off your path of success or good self-esteem. You might contemplate your actions prior to the event. Seeing things that the person touched or used might creep you out. Sometimes that person 's face might appear to you for years to come and prevent you from being able to sleep. You may lose all your possessions and stop caring about yourself. Self-loathing can happen too. This can be nearer to you because it was at your home and you shared an intimate relationship with this person.
My most recent experience was at the apartment building I live at. A son of one of the residents died by the dumpster where we empty our trash. This person was familiar because they would come to see their parent several times a week. Usually, this person was drunk. I had seen him around the building and hanging out at a nearby bus stop for years. I was told by another resident that he looked beat up and unhealthy hours prior to his death. The reason why this bothers me is because whenever I go to throw my trash out I will have to think of him. When I go to the bus stops nearby that I use to travel I will have to think of him.
I mentioned earlier about diseases even though this is about near death experiences. Most of the stories were related to drug and alcohol diseases. Some controllable and most not. In life today, we all have issues that can completely cripple us mentally, emotionally, and physically. Some of these issues are diseases and can not be cured. Some of the issues put us in situations that allow us to experience trauma from the near death experiences. I want everyone reading this to know there is help all over for all the issues, diseases, and trauma. All we have to do is just ask for the help.