Showing posts from 2011

Chip in the nose

I was at Woody’s a day shelter that gives food, clothing and shower.  I was enjoying my breakfast when I saw a lady I had met previously at a battered women’s shelter.  I was eating my muffin when I got a taste of perfume.  I thought it was my lotion on my finger but my next bite tasted like this too.  I said something out loud and the guy next to me mentioned he tasted it too.  I threw the rest of the muffin out but the lady I mentioned earlier said it was probably a chip in her nose.  She thinks the women at the shelter she stays at put it in her nose to poison her.  She has smelt hair spray and nail enamel then she could taste it so they must be poisoning her.  She said she was serious.  After that I kept my comments to her quick and short.

One eyed Man

A few nights ago I was in McDonalds feeding boyfriend and myself.  As we were eating there was a man walking around picking up food from the ground.  The employee gave him a cup of coffee.  I am not sure if it was paid for or not but that did help a little.  As I noticed him walking around pulling his pants up saw that he had one eye only.  He looked homeless.  I felt bad for him when I saw him pick up the fry from the ground.  My boyfriend on the other hand said he doesn't want to feel bad for him but he would give money to a kid hanging in there talking about smoking weed.  I think that is because he wants to stay young because he is old enough to be their dad.

Nice Homeless

I met a guy Paul who seemed really nice.  He has been homeless for 10 years.  He wants to work but can't find work due to having to carry his life with him every where he goes.  He has a backpack, duffel bag, and a small carry-on suitcase.  I can't imagine trying to go on an interview with those things.  He said that if he could only find a storage facility that is 24hrs, cost about $30 a month, and of course down town, he could find work and get off the streets.  I have met several cases just like this during this homeless adventure.  People trying to get work but have entirely to much to carry around to take to job interview, let alone a job itself.


I just heard the most horrible story.  There was a guy who was homeless camping in the mountains.  He was attack by something like wolf or fox.  His hand started swelling.  I saw his hand, it look like someone blew it up with air.  It finally started to look bruised.  I just found out that someone was fed up with seeing him look this way and took him to the doctor.  It was pass repair.  The decapitated the whole arm all the way up to the shoulder.  I just want to comment about Denver's mental health recovery.  Obviously, this guy had some mental condition that made him think that it would get better on its own.  I know the people posting the signs all over Denver about Denver's Mental Health Recovery had to have seen him since I did not know him but would always see him down town.  They should visit Stout Street Clinic to start with the recovery process.

Realizing Your Worth

I got into a fight with my significant other realizing I am only worth what he wants at the time he wants me around.  I know that I used to be worth so much to my friends and family.  Now in order for me to find what my worth is.  I wanted to have so much more from my life and this relationship.  I know the only way to improve that relationship is to ended with not letting him see me or contact me.  He doesn't know how to respect people or his self.  I tried everything without driving myself crazy.  I have started hating myself and not caring about the people around me.  Now I will find a way to make everything okay or I will just go insane.  I ask all that read this to pray for me so I will not be doing crazy things like staying out in the cold when there are places I can stay at.  Tonight I am staying out in the cold.  I lost my keys or maybe he stole them because he wanted to punish me.  Either way I have no sleeping bags to sleep with.  I did grab my clothes from yesterday, so…

Rich guy

Today I went to my storage to get my dirty clothes to wash.  As I was grabbing a light weight bag, I pulled a muscle in my back.  I finished at my storage then walked with my heavy dirty clothes slowly to the bus stop around the corner on 20th and Chesnut Pl.  While waiting for the bus, I saw a young man walking.  He was about 5'10", with short blonde hair, no shoes on, carrying a skateboard.  He had his thumb out trying to hitch hike.  I started pulling my wallet out to see if I had enough for him to catch the bus.  I asked him what happened.  He said he had just got out of jail.  He said the he was a rich guy.  I said, "Really, did you win the lotto?"  He told me he is a d.j. and just got backed by a huge production company.  So now he will be rich.  I told him that the bus might be there around ten minutes. He said he would skip the bus.  I hope I see him later once he gets all his millions and he remembers how I tried to offer him bus fare.

Being a Man

Last night at the porch I choose to sleep at I had a couple of guys give me money.  I tried to make myself look like a man to make me safer.  As a man there is less of a chance of me being a attacked.  The first guy came by them back tracked to say," If I have food in my mouth, you should too.  Keep your head up."  The second man called me a man the asked that I tried to find a warm place to sleep.  I think a third guy was going to dropped some money but he hesitated and left.  I only got three dollars total but it is the thought that counts.  I have been hoping and relying on the fact that my significant other will provide for me but it seems he would rather I spend my money.  I have been spending money on him since this relationship started.  I guess it is my fault.  I allowed him to get comfortable with me spoiling him with love, affection, and doing whatever he wanted to do.  Now, I am trying to change things by being the old me.  For example, when he starts talking craz…

Driving Accident

Yesterday I went to Englewood's Salvation Army to get a hotel voucher.  While I was waiting I heard a horrible story.  There were a few homeless guys camping down by 20th st and I-25 when all of a sudden there were tires screeching then one of these guys were hit and killed.  Another of them was badly injured.  This tells us that not only is dangerous to sleep on the street in fear of people trying to murder you because you are homeless.  Now you have to be careful where you camp out because of dangerous drivers.

Getting ready for Winter

Almost all the homeless is out there searching for backpacks, sleeping bags, warm clothing, and blankets.  I am currently looking for a way to carry my sleeping gear and my laptop.  My laptop is my only link to the old society.  I would rather just give up on trying to have a life worth anything but my laptop reminds me that the world has much to offer.  I want to start my own online business sot that I can eventually work from home, if I ever get a home.  The world wide world has limitless amounts of opportunity to do just that.  Even though I am just starting to realize the potential, I am scared to let go of what might mean connecting socially.  I do have  skype, facebook, and twitter accounts hoping this will keep me connected to all who might care or liked to care.  Today is about finding alternative options.

The importance of Sex

My ex-boyfriend could not wait to see if I would be a booty call for him.  He went off drinking with a familiar face, gave her wine then hoped for sex.  His story was that she went to the store for douche and never returned.  He noticed that his debit card was missing, he phone and laptop was acting up and she had to be the blame.  Of course, there were other people entangled in this web of deceit.  I heard another story that he was drinking with other people unknown and known around when he started withdrawing money from his card to party some more.  Which means there is a chance that the real story could be the combination of both stories together.  The most important thing is that if he would have waited until the next day He might have still had the card, got the sex and still been able to party with his friends.

He Dug a Hole

There is a homeless guy that felt compelled to dig a hole.  It was about 12ft by 10ft and 12ft deep.  He made a ladder out of fallen timbers.  Tunnels was burrowed for warmth.  He made a bunker for a place to sleep.  There were shelves, dugout holes in wall for pantry space.  Bench seats was made for visitors.  He would go to the river to sift through water and dirt for gold.  This man is currently 26 six and likes to mine. The hole was dug a few months ago and it tuck him 3 days.

Supersized Backpack

I just saw a guy with clean clothes smoking a cigarette by the light rail with a super sized backpack.  I saw a sleeping bag peaking out of it.  He could probably fit a duffel bag in it as well.  It was twice his size and I'm sure half his weight.  It is really said how homeless people have to carry their life around with them just to live day to day.  Most of them try to limit themselves to one to two outfits, all essential papers, and food to eat for the night.  Essential papers are birth certificate, med9, prescriptions and lists of housing to apply for.  Of course in their bags they carry personal hygiene products because they never know where they might end up at.  This particular guy must have enough with him to last a week and can travel the country pretty good.  I wish I had time to interview him.

Depression for a Homeless Man

I have a friend that is homeless.  I saw him the other day and he seemed buzzed.  He said he would like to walk in front of the mall ride bus.  I said casually no you don't.  He said yes, because he is tired of being homeless.  He used to sale the homeless paper, The Voice.  He would go out quite often to do it but he is afraid the paper will be closing do to lack of funding.  He said he has tried hard to look for work but that was a dead in.  Now all he wants to do is sit around doing nothing, hoping he will die soon.  He is only 51, I can't believe that he is ready to end his life.  I just told him that maybe if I write about his life, maybe some changes would help.  I know there are some resources out there that can help him but he has given up.  Good news is that he has not rejected me and maybe there is something I can do to help.  This is my website I am using to help the homeless: I plan to provide resources to anyone that needs it.

When you are Homeless

I went to Franny's to empty my back pack so it wasn't so heavy.  Homeless people should all have bad backs from loading down their backpack with all the important stuff. Most of us sleep out instead of a shelter due to the hours of the shelter.  For men here in Denver, if you stay near downtown you can stay out until about 9pm.  I am a female, and most shelters want you in at 5pm, or you have to be in a program bed.  I would like a shelter for women like the Rescue Mission (Jesus Saves).  We could check in daily, eat three times a day with the anyone that comes in, and will be able to spend time looking for work, finding a way to earn money.  A lot of us use the 16th street mall as a way to earn money with our skills or talents.  We have another way, there is a newspaper we can sell, called The Voice.  There is a website but I can only find a general site  I am building my own website because I want to build this shelter and a shelter for co…

Trying Another Shelter

I tried this other shelter that is down town that seemed pretty good.  It had breakfast and dinner all the time but lunch was on your own during the weekdays.  There were classes as with all overnight, programed shelters.  I found the employment class very informative.  The reason I left was the bedbug epidemic. I am tired of these bugs.  They eat me up and leave scars on my body.  The facility new there were bugs for two days before taking action.  I was being eaten up three days in a row before they started taking actions on the row before mine.  I decided I couldn't stay there and would stay outside.  I had bagged my suitcase, clothes, and backpack to reduce the infestation with me.  I am glad I got out in time because they were going to spray my row the next day which would have gave the bugs another night to eat me up.

Trying to Help Someone When You need Help Yourself

I have mentioned before my boyfriend and his issues, well I have a friend that has a problem with his money.  His name is Dino.  He doesn't drink but can not save money or budget it.  He runs out of my by the second week of the month.  He had someone as a payee but that person is a drunk.  I have problems with budgeting my money as well as as everyone else but my friend wants me to be his payee.  I have thought about that.  I can't take care of my boyfriend, me and Dino.  If they weren't adults it would be fine.  Now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.


I hung out Frances, with my friend Dewey. His friend Solomon was there.  I had decided to drink because once again my boyfriend was drunk.  We were talking about his penis because Dewey and him has been friends for awhile.  I told Dewey, to let’s go drink.  I asked him if Solomon would be entertaining.  He said kinda, so I said bring him.  We walked to Safeway  Dewey got the bottle to drink out of, an Arizona tea bottle because of its brown color.  Solomon and I went to the liquor store.  I saw several people I knew there.  After the store we went to quiet park  I saw my drunk boyfriend but most of all, I learned some things about Solomon.  He is extremely depressed and on the verge of committing suicide.  First of all, he thought he was invited for his penis.  I told him the invite was for his company.  We decided to leave since the drink was gone and Solomon was worried about getting to Aurora.  we give him money to get there.  We changed our mind and went to the liquor store.  Solo…

Drunken Man

My boyfriend has a serious illness, Alcoholism.  I would like to just end the relationship but that it taking the easy way out.  He has other illnesses which does go good together.  I give him a few extra dollars more then he needs so he goes to get a drink. Now, I haven’t seen him for a over 24hrs and when I called he was still drunk.  I know his meds for the other issues stop him from drinking so much.  I will have to demand that he go in to an appointment at the medical center for his own good.  I just want to spend the day not thinking about him, forget that he needs a firm hand to keep him in tact, and most of all, I want to forget that I love him.  Love, doesn’t allow you to be yourself, it is strong and will dictate to you.  What to do?  I would love to have a counselor to help me through my trials and tribulations.

Obama shifts from consensus to instincts on key calls

Getting in Everyday

I am not sure how hard it is for the men but it is hard getting in a daily, overnight shelter.  Delores Project is a good shelter and feeds well but if you are not on time with your call in, you will not get in that night.

30 Days

I started this program here four weeks ago and has made it.  I also am glad that I am feeling better.  I get sleepy some times but over all i am okay.  I have been lately seeing Corey's face on certain people or hearing his voice.  I am taking the medication that is supposed to help with that but I guess it is not working because it is not my brain it is him trying to contact me.  I don't know but I wish it would stop.  I still think of him whenever I see a shot bottle on the ground.  I want to see my boyfriend but he is trying to punish me for getting mad but the reality is we are not compatible and we should sever the relationship.  He doesn't want to, he just thinks some time away will help.  I am not going to loose the progress I made to go back with him since he has not checked himself into a facility yet.  I caught him saying, why should he stop drinking if we are still going to argue.  He is supposed to stop for himself not for me.  Now, I know he is doing it for th…

Drunken Women

Today I witness a bad situation,  There is a pregnant girl that smelled a friend who was drunk.  The women that was drunk was an older women.  For security reasons I will leave names out of this.  Pregnant stopped me to tell me that Older women smelled like liquor.  I told her that I had smelled it before on her a couple of times.  Pregnant must have said something to staff since staff called her up front, talked to Older women in the office, then called police to escort her to Detox.  Of course, Older women will probably get kicked out.  I feel bad because I know that if you are an alcoholic, you can not stop drinking just because you situation calls for it.  I knew about Older women and had smelled her before but I did not judge.  I couldn’t assume that she had been drinking the other times, but was pretty sure the time she had a good talk with me.  Older women had talked to her teenaged daughter and was so excited about it.  She staggered a bit and was very affectionate.  She kept …

Living In A Shelter

Living her in this shelter gives me lots of restrictions.  I am limited to time to come in if I have a night chore due the time the chore must be completed. Chore has to be done by 8:30pm but curfew is 10pm.  Also, I have to use their detergent, which makes me itch.  I have to eat their food which gives me heart burn but most of all I have no internet access in the building I am in.  I have a locker which makes it easier to store things I want for the day.  I have to take showers at 12 am-2:am to have it warm not ice cold.  Can’t use an alarm on phone due to noise.  My meds keeps me sleepy so I can’t get up when they wake me up.  I am going to stay in for the whole three months and try an online business, hoping that I can use that as an income instead.  I do have more time to devote to the internet.

Asian Lady

There is a Asian lady at the spot that talks to herself.  Actually it seems she is really talking to someone.  Sometimes in the middle of the night, she bursts out with yelling and crying.  Other women in the dorm yell at her and tell her to leave the dorm.  I feel bad because it is not her fault that it feels like someone is speaking back to her.  This is one the reasons why I wanted to build a website to help us all.  This blog hopefully can reach a psych or someone that may have suggestions that would help to deal with her.

Brandon Center

I decided to go into a program due to my boyfriend getting drunk and running away from me with the tent.  I was going to be stranded outside without a tent for our camp spot and no protector.  I realized that the only way for me to rely on him was to break up and request him to get into a program.  He says he will and has now been trying.  I consider us broken up/separated.  He has looked into several programs but not sure what he is going to do.  I think he will wait until after Monday.  He will have one of the two cleaning done on his teeth.  I figure about two months before he commits.

At the hospital

A needed a fellow up at emergency due to the infection in his elbow.  I told him last week to get it done but he waited until it was badly infected.  I am so sick of him not doing what he is supposed to do to  make himself healthy.  He is a grown man and I shouldn't act like his mom but he won't act right.  I think I should have went to the library to get online.  He will be here all day and I am not in the mood to wait all day for him to get checked out for something he should have taken care of last week. I ordered some food from the cafeteria and the ham & cheese was okay, but the brownie tasted like it had been frozen then refrigerated.  I know what that tastes like since I used to work in a bakery.

My birthday

Today is my birthday.  I feel I should be able to do whatever I want.  My boyfriend has been in a bad mood all day.  I said I would just wash my clothes.  I got my clothes out of Franny's storage then went to my paid storage.  I cleaned out the things in my Chestnut storage to get it more organized.  I was about to make a payment when I found out there is smaller storage's.  I called A. immediately to tell him about it.  He said he would meet me after washing but I was getting on the bus about to get off.  When I got off the bus, I decided that was doing way to much today since it was 1pm and I hadn't started washing yet.  I told him tomorrow morning would be better.  He replied with, "Your changing the plans again?"  I told him that he suggested those plans and I hadn't had a chance to think about it.  So now in the morning I am supposed to get the small storage.  I stayed away for quite some time.  I got back about ten 'til three.  I put my clean cloth…

New Camping Spot

I was told about a new camping spot.  It is about 24 blocks away from where I take my shower but it is a peaceful place.  Trains come by, the river is near, and there is a neighborly fox that visits.  It costs lots of money to rent a room for a week.  I decided to buy a tent, get a personal grocery cart to keep my camping gear in.  When my boyfriend is not around I want to be able to stay out without feeling concerned of my safety.  He is not always reliable.  I have decided that I need to keep my blog on my website: ( so that people can view it there to keep track my what is happening in my life as well as the crazy homeless.

God's Spirit is Moving

Today I was really tired but was able to get my day rolling.  I got on the internet.  Update my website. I also made it to the library, downloaded an extra movie, and resume software.  I started rethinking going to church but I saw Ron which gave me my second wind.  Then I decided to go to Safeway for food but I saw my boy D who reminded me to go to church so I skipped food, went to Franny's to get my cart.  I pushed my cart to the spot, re-wrapped with my backpack and lunch bag.  Then, I caught the bus to church.  It was a great service.  I felt God's spirit throughout the night.  There was a man there that told me his story about how God has came through for him.  His leg was broken beyond repair.  He had metal in it, and they said he would never walk again. God has allowed him to walk and his doctor doesn't understand how he is able to walk.  The man has been baptized and his is so on fire for God he couldn't stop talking to me about it.  A is still drunk so I was a…

My significant other

He left about 4pm yesterday to help his cousin move one load.  He text me at 8pm saying he hadn't started yet because his cousin hadn't came back yet.  Then about 10pm he was drunk saying he was coming back to me.  He knows I don't like when he drinks.  He said he was at an intersection with a bus stop but didn't know which bus comes there.  Believe it or not all of the bus stops has the numbers on it.  I haven't heard from him yet.  I am not angry that he choose the booze but would like to know that he is okay.  Please comment and tell me what you guys think.


On 16th street mall in downtown Denver, CO, Silk had setup a display with samples.  I tried Almond milk with dark chocolate flavor,.  It was pretty good!  Later I saw some of their representatives walking around with a carton on their back, like a backpack. I wanted a pic but I needed my chocolate fix first.

Musical Tables

There is a women here in Starbucks that has her son with her.  He seemed to be quite normal.  He is just reading his book.  She has changed tables at least three times since I've been here.  She started at one outdoor table, then to another outdoor table, then finally an indoor table.  I don't know if she is crazy but musical tables may help her adjust to the fact that she has nothing else to do.


There was a women that walked into Starbucks here and asked if it is peaceful.  Some responded yes, some were confused at what she said but regardless she left the store.